What? You are probably wondering what I mean by this which is most likely the reason you decided to open this post up. Well, we all know what dump trucks are, right? Huge trucks that carry waste and bring it to the designated location and dump it. Leaving the truck itself empty with only a bit of residue to remind them of the huge mess they just unloaded. In the same way, there a certain people that we may come in contact with who are like dump trucks…and they have decided that you make a pretty good dump.
Huh? They have decided that because you won’t call them on their rude behavior, they can treat you however they wish. They have elected to believe that no matter what they do, you will be there for them even if they are toxic and stress you out. They have decided that because they feel free after dumping their emotional baggage on you, you can carry the full weight of it for them.
Don’t misunderstand, sharing burdens with friends and family is a given but there is a very thick line in between asking for help and advice and loading another human being with your mess and perhaps asking them to fix it for you. Here are few indicators, a checklist to see where you stand. Some will clearly be in one arena, others act as a dump truck with some but a dump site with others. Please keep in mind that this isn’t exhaustive in any way.
How do you know if you are a dump truck?
You try to avoid handling issues yourself at all costs.
You ask others to handle your problems and wash your hands of them.
You ignore their opinions and their schedules and always push for a “Yes.”
You use guilt.
You are strategic about who you come to with certain problems.
You’re okay with crossing another person’s boundaries if it gets you what you want.
You use your emotions as a weapon, going beyond over sharing and unloading all your issues on another.
How do you know if you are someone’s emotional dump?
A person continually asks you for help and guilt you until you give in.
You feel bad saying “no” to that person.
They come to you only when something bad happens and want to share.
They don’t care what’s happening in your life, they are more concerned with you knowing their recent updates.
They as you to handle a problem for them and then ghost you.
They take and take but never seem to be around when you need help.
For those of you who act like dump trucks in the lives of others, this may be the first time that you thought of your behavior as such. I am not here to condemn you but I am asking you to reconsider your behavior. Feel free to ask for help BUT make it a habit to ask that person “Do you have the emotional/mental capacity for this right now?” Be considerate. Oftentimes, the people you go to most have other people consulting them as well and that is a heavy burden to bear. After reading this post, I hope you realize it. It weighs them down and sometimes they get so overwhelmed with other people’s problems that they have no room to take care of their own whether it is financially, mentally/emotionally, or even physically. Yes, physically! They may get sick from all the stress that they are being put through, may develop migraines or some other physical signal that they need to rest and yet they won’t because they feel obligated to help you. Please be mindful of that truth!
And for those of you, who like me, let yourself be an emotional dump truck, remember this: you are your own person, your value is not determined by what you do for others and you need to value yourself. How many of you sometimes feel as though you have to be helping someone else? Or that if you don’t do A,B,C and D for persons 1–11 then you aren’t a good friend, sibling, colleague? You can’t allow yourself to continue being used like this! Sadly, that means you may lose some of the “friends” who only came to you when they required something from you but guess what, you’ll be relieved of quite a bit of stress and learn who your real friends are.
Now that you have come to the end of this, you are probably wondering what this have to do with Christianity or the Bible. And I will tell you!
The Lord reminds us of our worth repeatedly. He calls us His treasure, His workmanship and so many more wonderful things. Why? Because God wants us to value both ourselves and others. He wants us to know our worth so that we can live like His child, the royalty He created us to be. Similarly, He wants to value others so that His grace and love is shown through us. When you treat people as a dump site, you are telling them that you don’t value them, that they are a commodity, there for your use and nothing more. You dehumanize them and this leads to a lot of emotional damage, as I alluded to above.
So, the point is this: Treat people well and don’t accept less than your worth!
Rise Holy!
