The Bible is full of mentor/student relationships and as believers, we can always use someone more mature in the faith to guide us and help us along the way. But we must also be careful, because just as their are good mentors who lead us to God there are also bad mentors who entice us away from the Father. So, the question becomes what makes a good mentor and how do you find one?
What makes a good mentor?
A good mentor offers instruction, guidance, encouragement and clarity on those things you don’t understand. Good mentors lead by example, they live a life that is holy and righteous and while they may miss the mark from time to time they are earnest and serious about their relationship with God. A good mentor is someone who knows the Word of God and is mature in the faith and is walking in the purpose God has called them to. (Unlike prayer or accountability partners who are typically growing alongside you, a mentor should have been there, done that, so to speak.) To clarify, a person cannot mentor you in your walk with the Lord because if they aren’t Spirit-led and filled with the Word, the advice they will give you will be worldly, even if they have good intentions. Furthermore, your mentor should always be the same gender as you. Isn’t it true that there are some things men can talk to other men about and women can talk to other women about that they wouldn’t to someone of the opposite sex? You should feel comfortable enough with your mentor to talk about whatever is on your heart, this is just simpler to do when your counselor is of the same sex.
Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their craftiness,” and again, “The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.”
1 Corinthians 3:18–20
A true Christian mentor, or counselor, will guide you and correct you when you err or mess up. They will understand but they won’t spoil you and pretend that your sin is okay. The Bible repeatedly talks about the importance of wise counsel, so make sure that your mentor is wise. You also have to be willing to be taught, led and instructed (Proverbs 19:20–21). If you aren’t teachable, you will never gain anything from having a mentor. But that is a subject for another day.
Now that you know some of the traits of a mentor or counselor, how do you find one?
The church is always a great place to start. If you attend a Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church, there should be at least a couple people who can mentor you and lead you into a deeper understanding of the Word of God and help you with whatever issues you may face.
However, if you don’t attend church or if you aren’t very comfortable in your church or if your church isn’t a Bible-teaching, Spirit-led church, I suggest you find another church and begin looking for a mentor there. Mentors are teachers first and if your church doesn’t do anything in regards to teaching you will most likely never find a good mentor there.
Another place to find a counselor is in a fellowship or Bible study group. Many churches open up their groups and small ministries to those not in their congregation there are also national Bible study groups that have groups everywhere such as the women’s group Pinky Promise. If you are a member of a group such as this or if you attend small group services regularly you should be able to find someone there who is both willing and able to mentor you.
I suggest choosing a mentor that is local. While you can call or text people who live far away, it is harder to gauge their walk with the Lord if you never see them. And the truth is, sometimes it is just better to talk about certain subjects face to face over lunch or cake.
Once you find someone you would like to be your mentor, pray about it and then ask that person if they want to mentor you. They may feel like they are too busy to do so or that they are ill-equipped. Respect their wishes and start searching somewhere else.
Have you ever had a mentor? Did you mentor someone else?
Remember mentors are just one more way we can keep ourselves from stumbling in out walk with Christ.
